• Notice when I invalidate myself and diminish who I am in deference to others • There is a tendency to infer negative intent, e.g., that others will mock me or make fun of me. This is a choice I am making based on past experiences or a story about the past, not the truth. [...]
There is YOU as a conversation, and then there is the skin and bones YOU. Both are apparently in the same location until one starts to investigate the YOU as a conversation. What we find is that YOU actually exists over there. Another way of stating this is that how YOU actually show up is in other [...]
In the work of self transformation, the access point for change is noticing what we are choosing, and then determine if this is what we want. For instance, if we are experiencing a low mood or fatigue, noticing we are at the effect of that mood or energy is the first step. A self reflecting [...]
Clients with relationship difficulties often complain about their partner: “he doesn’t listen to me, ” or, “he should know how I feel without me telling him”, or, “she just talks all the time and doesn’t let me explain myself”, or, ”why should I ask, she’ll just say no.” When communication devolves into complaining, the relationship is suffering. In America, we are taught [...]