Aug
24
Managing Stress with Effective Communication
• Notice when I invalidate myself and diminish who I am in deference to others
• There is a tendency to infer negative intent, e.g., that others will mock me or make fun of me. This is a choice I am making based on past experiences or a story about the past, not the truth.
• Context is decisive- notice what informs my thinking when I am “playing small.” Fear has us play small or play safe to avoid what we think is going to happen if we make a mistake.
• The past experienced in the present gives us a future that we are familiar with, but one we may not like or want. We then recreate the past as if we don’t have anything to do with how things will go, and wonder why the same things keep happening in the same way.
• In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are few.
• I’m here to learn, not to be perfect or infallible. The only way to learn is to make mistakes.
• Writing things down and completing items on a list give you practice at expanding your abilities to accomplish what you say you want to accomplish.
• Ask yourself, “is there anything I can do about this right now?” If there is something to do, do it or write it down on your list of things to do. If there is nothing to do about it, you probably are trying to change things outside of your control.
• Notice when you are anxious or upset if you are attempting to change things that you have no control over or have yet to occur. You might be projecting a past into your future, and living into it, much like a holographic image. It looks like it might be real, but it is not real.
• Mostly, recognizing the “great what’s so” will diminish and reduce your anxiety. When you see what is so, you can then take specific actions to alter how things will go. This involves writing things down and making promises to complete new actions you see appropriate to take.
• Then, mostly you will be dealing with promises that you make about the things you are committed to making a difference in your life and your work.
• Question: “Am I willing to give up who I am for who I can become?”
• Question: “Is it more important to be right or be related with people?” (and with yourself)
